Things don’t always turn out the way that we expect them to (that’s the understatement of the century, right?), but doesn’t it seem to happen more often to some people, than to others? I feel like I am one of those people, who more often than not, experience life events going in a totally different direction than I anticipated or expected. This ranges from daily mundane tasks going south, to extreme life lessons that feel like a punch in the stomach. I have formed a bit of an addiction, trying to figure out why so many things in my life don’t goes as planned, and what lesson I should be taking away from that particular situation. Please note, sometimes this becomes an unhealthy obsession and I become so fixated on trying to discover what I need to learn, that I miss the lesson entirely and need to be taught it again. That being said, I have shifted my way of thinking (yet again) and instead of immediately trying to find my take away from the lesson, I focus on finding something positive about the situation first. By shifting your thoughts to something positive, you are still acknowledging what happened but training your mind to go to a positive place before diving into what you need to learn. I feel as though I am tested repeatedly in situations that I need to use patience in. I struggle waiting for things to work out as they should. Sometimes my mind thinks that its logical to meal prep for one day and lose 5 pounds, or to journal about a traumatic event and BAM! those sad feelings to disappear. I realize that I am continuously presented with obstacles that test my patience and until I am able to take a step back and really be present to learn that lesson, as well as finding something positive about it, they will keep on coming.
Here is a simple example: When my flight is delayed, I look around and I see everyone fuming. I change the way that I think by being thankful that I am able to travel in the first place and then be thankful that I can take some time to myself and have a glass of wine and a snack while I wait for my plane to be ready to board. Once I acknowledge those things, THEN I let myself vent a little about getting home late and needing a nap. Being a positive person, doesn’t mean that you don’t have grumpy thoughts (I have them all of the time…) The lesson here is: Don’t sweat the small stuff, you can’t control everything.
Here is a more serious example: When you have a failed relationship, whether it be romantically, a friendship or with a family member and you are emotionally hurt. I challenge you to first find one positive thing to take away and then let it be for awhile. Acknowledge the positive and allow yourself time to heal. Then look for the lesson once you are ready. Chances are, and for me personally, the lessons keep unveiling themselves for quite some time but that only happens when you aren’t forcing yourself to find them. The ultimate lesson here is: Stay positive, be patient!
My favorite mantra for this: I am safe, it is only change.